Life lessons, Parenting

Great Expectations

I’m leaving on a trip to San Fran today. It’s for work but I’ve managed to add in some fun time with a dear friend too. Napa Valley, here I come!

I wanted to spend some quality time with my boys yesterday. I did that thing you’re not supposed to do: had Great Expectations. I imagined us gathered around, playing cards and eating delicious snacks, having a fabulous time. It didn’t quite turn out that way. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, it just didn’t click.

We managed to salvage it in the end with pizza and tickle fights but with the holidays coming up, I will certainly try to keep those expectations down and spirits up.

Happiness, Parenting

The Terrible Teens

When I first got pregnant, I worried about three things:

– One: How much pain are we talking about?

– Two: What will I feed them since I don’t cook?

– Three: How will I handle the teen years?

The answers were “quite a bit,” “pasta and then you’ll learn more,” and “quite easily.” Maybe my kids are different, or maybe we’re not quite there yet (they’re 12 and 15) but my boys are still really sweet.

Yes, they leave their socks around the house (what’s with that?); yes, they wait till the last minute to do their homework (I usually have to spin my head like in The Exorcist to help them get to it); and yes, they eat constantly. But overall, they’re good boys – smart, wise, resourceful. They’re my IT department, my sages, my little loves. They take part in family meetings and decisions, help with dinner, do their chores (with a bit of reminding), and get really good grades in school.

So if you’re wondering, “Should I take the plunge?” my answer would be an emphatic yes. Look out for the socks though.

Happiness, Life lessons

More happiness to love

I saw this on the side of a bus yesterday and thought, “Wow, do they know what they’re doing!” It was an ad for McDonald’s.

A friend of mine was telling me about a book called, “Who Moved My Cheese?” It’s about four characters who live in a maze and are each seeking their own “cheese.” It may be romance, a satisfying career, spirituality, or wealth. Their “cheese” is taken away and the story lies in how they deal with it.

In the end though, we are all seeking love and happiness. We may think we’ll find it through the car we drive, or by looking younger, or by buying up all the boots at Nordstrom’s. But the truth is that true happiness can be found in simply living in the now. When you think about famous people you admire – for me, that’s writers, artists, spiritual guides – they are focused and passionate and living for today.

Believe me, just because I know it’s true doesn’t mean I always practice it. I’m the worst when it comes to living in the past or planning the future (to-do lists abound in my world). But my hope is, the more I see the value in simply “being,” the more I’ll simply be.

Life lessons

Happy Birthday Mom

Today is my Mom’s birthday. She would be 86. I miss her so.

I always wondered why that saying doesn’t finish. Why not, “I miss her so much“? But sometimes, “much” isn’t enough. Sometimes you just have to leave it blank.

I still can’t believe she’s gone. We were beyond close, connected on so many levels. We’d call each other when we were sad, happy, mad, confused, or wondering what the other was doing. She’d pick up the phone and instead of “Hi, how are you?” I’d say, “Hi, what are you doing?” because it made me feel like I was there.

She had this great house that was always messy and always had plenty of food. It was the most comfortable house I’ve ever known, and to this day, any time I dream of me at home, I’m in that home. Not the home I’ve lived in for 17 years. Not the homes I’ve lived in previously. That home.

Mom was always open to the spirits. She had received communications from those who had died. I guess I thought we’d share the same kind of connection. I did dream about her the other night. I took her to her job at a grocery store (at which she worked in my dream) and some men were flirting with her. She loved it and I did too. She’s still got it, I thought. My friend in Book Club told me that spirits reach out to us through our dreams. I like that. I’m clinging to that.

My boyfriend made me cry the other night. Well, he didn’t make me. He allowed me. I was telling him about her. How she’d always give me money for my trips (even my work trips), how she helped raise my boys, how she supported me in so many ways. And I started to cry a bit. I’m not one to show my feelings so I swallowed it down. But he held me close and said, “It’s okay, you don’t have to hold back with me. It’s okay to cry.”

I miss her so.

Life lessons

My first post

I asked my son to create a blog for me. I figured it would take a while; it took about 2 minutes. It’s a bit daunting, this first post. I’m not even sure what I hope to relay but I do feel I have something to say. I hope in the end that I impart something useful.

The word for today is thankful. Sometimes that’s not as easy as it sounds, I know. However, it is in every book I’ve read on happiness and I’ve found that the more I think of the things I’m thankful for, the more things there are to list. Even on bad days, there are still furry friends to snuggle, chili dogs to eat, or soulful songs to hear.

Each night, my boyfriend, my boys and I light a candle and share our thankfuls. It’s a time we all look forward to – hearing what each of us has done, and perhaps getting a glimpse of what we hope to do. I highly recommend it.