Happiness – Page 3

Focus on the Important Stuff

Posted on October 9, 2015

I stopped at Kmart recently to return some photo frames that weren’t the right size. It was mayhem. They were in the midst of an event that’s held for families in need: children could come in and receive up to $80 of items for school. They were gathered around their parents, standing in line, running about. It was endearing to see these kids so happy. When I left, I saw a few families sitting on some rocks and the kids were looking through their bags with excitement.

This experience made me think about the things I’ve been focused on lately. We’re redoing the kitchen – not a complete redesign, just updating – and as we’re doing that, we’ve noticed other things that need work or updating. (Have you ever noticed that replacing one item can cost you a small fortune because the surrounding items suddenly appear shabby?) In any case, I’ve been thinking about that. And about my birthday. And about my kids’ upcoming college expenses. All fine things, normal things, to be thinking about. But when I saw those kids, I realized just how shallow my world can be – how protected I am from some of the hardships of life. I hope that, from now on, I spend my time thinking about more important things than the knobs on my cabinets.

Photo courtesy of ann_jutatip

Community involvement, Happiness, Life lessons

A Sausage Sandwich to the Rescue

Posted on September 12, 2015

I keep snacks in my car to give to homeless people begging by the side of the road. I don’t like to give them money because I don’t know if it’ll go towards drugs or alcohol or other self-defeating activities so I buy a big box of granola bars or snacks and hand them out when I can.

Recently, on the way home from an Italian festival, my family and I stopped at a stoplight and there was a homeless man holding a sign. I reached in the back and gave him a snack sized bag of cookies. He thanked me, turned around and immediately opened the bag and began eating. My 14-year-old noticed and remarked on how hungry the man must have been . “That’s true, I’m happy we were able to help a bit,” I said.

But that wasn’t enough for him. We had brought home extra food from the festival – a few sausage sandwiches and a bag of sugary dessert. We had already proceeded to our next stop, the grocery store, when my son remembered the food. “What if we gave him that?” he asked. My boyfriend was going into the store to pick up a few things and I explained to my son that he would have to give the food to the homeless man and it may be difficult since we would be driving in a different direction and he’d have to call him to the car. “That’s okay, I’ll do it,” he said eagerly, jumping into the front passenger seat.

So my boyfriend went into the grocery store and I drove back to the spot where we had seen the homeless man. He wasn’t at the corner anymore, he had moved to a grassy area on the riverbank and was sitting with some others. My son hesitated, thinking, and then jumped out of the car with the bags of food and raced across the street to the man. I had to move ahead as the light had changed and leave him there. As he met us at the next corner, I thought, “Wow, that is something to see.” I was so proud of his courage and kindness. I asked what the man had said. With a sly smile, he answered, “He and the others said, ‘Bless my heart.'”

Photo courtesy of Phil Parker.

Happiness, Life lessons, Self care

How About Some R&R?

Posted on September 4, 2015

“And so taking the long way home through the market I slow my pace down. It doesn’t come naturally. My legs are programmed to trot briskly and my arms to pump up and down like pistons, but I force myself to stroll past the stalls and pavement cafes. To enjoy just being somewhere, rather than rushing from somewhere, to somewhere. Inhaling deep lungfuls of air, instead of my usual shallow breaths. I take a moment to just stop and look around me. And smile to myself.
For the first time in a long time, I can, quite literally, smell the coffee.”

– Alexandra Potter, “The Two Lives of Miss Charlotte Merryweather”

My family loves to watch “Modern Family” together. My boys tease that I’m just like Claire Dunphy – the organized, overbearing, over-scheduled perfectionist. Tonight, we saw an episode in which a number of the characters were driving together and almost hit a truck. They all experienced varying levels of fear and clarity that life is so tenuous.

Luke decided to pull out his “bucket list” and check off every item, Claire became incredibly aware of how scheduled her life had become, Haley and Alex spent some quality time together. It got me thinking about the things I plan to do “when there’s time.” I run a pretty tight ship and rarely do things that aren’t on my list or calendar happen. I have this theory that people who don’t plan also don’t get anything done.

I actually schedule “R&R” days on my calendar (yes, I even schedule those). This is a day that everyone in my household (including myself) can do whatever we want – no questions asked. Maybe we all (especially the Claire’s) need more of those kinds of days and less of the ones with items to check off.

Photo courtesy of Frida.

Happiness, Life lessons

Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk

Posted on August 28, 2015

I remember hearing the term, “Don’t cry over spilled milk” when I was young. I never really understood it – why would someone cry over spilled milk? Why not just clean it up?

The point is, don’t overreact when things go south. And they will. Let’s face it, sometimes things just happen – someone cuts us off, hail damages our car, we stub our toe, our hearts get broken. We can’t control others and we can’t control what happens, but we can control how we react. And that is the key: instead of dwelling on and festering over, move on. Just clean up the milk and pour another glass.

Photo courtesy of Esther Gibbons.

Happiness, Life lessons

Live It Up!

Posted on August 16, 2015

Do you remember when you were 10 and you thought you’d live forever?

Do you remember when you were 20 and couldn’t wait for your life to begin?

Here’s the funny thing: life happens when we’re not looking. One day you wake up and realize that you’ve actually lived a lot. You’ve seen a lot and learned a lot and, dare I say it, eaten a lot. Weren’t those french fries great?!

Anyway, my point is that it’s a short ride so make it a good one. Paint your masterpiece, write your novel, climb your mountain. Do it now and then when you’re old and gray, you can tell your grandchildren all about it, over and over again. Just don’t tell them I told you to do it.

Photo courtesy of Robert Couse-Baker.

Happiness, Life lessons

Follow your Own Path

Posted on July 25, 2015

You may find that your heart seeks a different path than those around you. When you consider the great artists and musicians, writers and leaders, you’ll find that they didn’t take traditional paths either. Sometimes you have to sway left or right or even forge a whole new trail in order to find your version of success.

When I was younger, I thought that everyone should go to college, get a job, buy a house, work their way up the ladder, save for retirement, and spend their golden years traveling. It’s not a bad way to live but it isn’t the only way. It’s the route I’ve taken and now I’m wondering if there might be a bend in the road. Here’s the cool part: that’s okay.

It’s okay to:

change your mind
pursue something different
make mistakes
seek help
be happy on your own terms

The older I get, the more I realize that everyone has their own path they must follow. I hope yours finds you happiness.

Photo courtesy of Gary Millar.

Community involvement, Happiness, Life lessons, Self care

Taking Care of Others Takes Care of You

Posted on March 26, 2015

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” Leo Buscaglia

I was recently in Chicago, sitting in a busy plaza watching city dwellers hurry to their destinations. I was savoring my last few minutes when an old woman appeared to my left and sat near me. She was wrapped in a tattered coat and had a cart on wheels filled with clothes and blankets and bright old sneakers that didn’t appear to be hers. She sat there for a few minutes and then lay her head down on the cement bench. I watched how others reacted to her. Most would glance, take a harder look, and then move ahead quickly, as if hesitation might incline them to assist, or to listen to their conscience asking, “How can you ignore this?”

A few questions raced through my head:

What if that were me?
What if that were my Mother or Father?
The wind is so cold in Chicago, where does she go?
Why do so many of us think, “Someone else will take care of her”?

I spoke to her as I was leaving and gave her some money, more than I’ve ever given anyone I didn’t know. As I was walking away, the most amazing thing happened. The sun appeared – not gradually as you’d expect with a cloud moving by – but suddenly and blindingly. It was a beautiful moment, both inside and out.

Photo courtesy of Mark K.

Happiness, Life lessons

What do people think of you?

Posted on March 7, 2015

Do you ever wonder what people think of you? What might be said at your funeral?

I think that you would be surprised at how wonderful and successful you are viewed. We are all hard on ourselves, “Why can’t I be younger, thinner, smarter, braver, etc.” but we shouldn’t be. When I think of people in my life, I see how patient they are, or supportive, how their faces light up when they’re happy, how soulful or insightful or crazy they can be.

Look upon yourself as you see others; I think you’ll like what you see.

Photo courtesy of Simply CVR.

Happiness, Life lessons