Soulily

Leadership at its Best

Posted on August 3, 2015

A good friend, mentor and consummate leader recently left my company. The impact that this man had on our organization, and on me personally, simply cannot be relayed. As I reflect on him as a person, the one thing I find that sets him apart is his character. A man of his word, a man with solid advice, a man you know is in your corner, his kindness is unparalleled.

Some tips I think he might pass along about leadership:

Put the right people in place and let them succeed
Treat everyone with respect
Rally around your troops in good times and in bad
Learn people’s names and remember what’s important to them
Never take the credit but always show your appreciation

As we move forward in our careers and in our lives, may we all be as sincere and kind as he. Godspeed my friend, and know that I am always here for you.

Image by Emily Dowdle.

Happiness, Life lessons

Follow your Own Path

Posted on July 25, 2015

You may find that your heart seeks a different path than those around you. When you consider the great artists and musicians, writers and leaders, you’ll find that they didn’t take traditional paths either. Sometimes you have to sway left or right or even forge a whole new trail in order to find your version of success.

When I was younger, I thought that everyone should go to college, get a job, buy a house, work their way up the ladder, save for retirement, and spend their golden years traveling. It’s not a bad way to live but it isn’t the only way. It’s the route I’ve taken and now I’m wondering if there might be a bend in the road. Here’s the cool part: that’s okay.

It’s okay to:

change your mind
pursue something different
make mistakes
seek help
be happy on your own terms

The older I get, the more I realize that everyone has their own path they must follow. I hope yours finds you happiness.

Photo courtesy of Gary Millar.

Community involvement, Happiness, Life lessons, Self care

Taking Care of Others Takes Care of You

Posted on March 26, 2015

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” Leo Buscaglia

I was recently in Chicago, sitting in a busy plaza watching city dwellers hurry to their destinations. I was savoring my last few minutes when an old woman appeared to my left and sat near me. She was wrapped in a tattered coat and had a cart on wheels filled with clothes and blankets and bright old sneakers that didn’t appear to be hers. She sat there for a few minutes and then lay her head down on the cement bench. I watched how others reacted to her. Most would glance, take a harder look, and then move ahead quickly, as if hesitation might incline them to assist, or to listen to their conscience asking, “How can you ignore this?”

A few questions raced through my head:

What if that were me?
What if that were my Mother or Father?
The wind is so cold in Chicago, where does she go?
Why do so many of us think, “Someone else will take care of her”?

I spoke to her as I was leaving and gave her some money, more than I’ve ever given anyone I didn’t know. As I was walking away, the most amazing thing happened. The sun appeared – not gradually as you’d expect with a cloud moving by – but suddenly and blindingly. It was a beautiful moment, both inside and out.

Photo courtesy of Mark K.

Life lessons

Us vs. Them

Posted on March 15, 2015

Wouldn’t it be nice if there was no “us vs. them”?

No distinction based on age, disability, nationality, race, sex, sexual orientation, political affiliation, the food we eat, the music we listen to, the car we drive or if we don’t even own a car to drive, profession, the neighborhood we live in, the clothes we wear or any of the other things that make us unique.

What if we were just honored for being?

Photo courtesy of WoodleyWonderWorks.

Happiness, Life lessons

What do people think of you?

Posted on March 7, 2015

Do you ever wonder what people think of you? What might be said at your funeral?

I think that you would be surprised at how wonderful and successful you are viewed. We are all hard on ourselves, “Why can’t I be younger, thinner, smarter, braver, etc.” but we shouldn’t be. When I think of people in my life, I see how patient they are, or supportive, how their faces light up when they’re happy, how soulful or insightful or crazy they can be.

Look upon yourself as you see others; I think you’ll like what you see.

Photo courtesy of Simply CVR.

Happiness, Life lessons

Be Present Today

Posted on March 1, 2015

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”

Buddha (Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C.)

Photo by Neonow.

Happiness, Self care

Fill Yourself Up

Posted on February 22, 2015

One way to ensure you’re always at your best is to fill yourself up. Fill yourself with all the happiness you can find.

Ten ways to start:

Make or buy yourself a delicious cup of coffee or tea
Call an old friend just to say, “Hey!”
Visit a neighborhood shop and browse
Hug all the special people in your life
Go for a nice walk and stop midway to look up at the trees and sky
Set aside 30 minutes for a great book
Congratulate yourself on all your accomplishments
Pet your cat or dog for a full five minutes
Luxuriate in a hot bat or shower
Listen to some beautiful music

As you fill yourself up, you’ll most assuredly share that love and happiness with those around you. And so it continues.

Photo courtesy of Vladimer Shioshvili.

Happiness, Life lessons

Be Brave

Posted on February 18, 2015

So many times, as I’ve learned about great leaders throughout history, I’ve imagined that they’re different somehow – that they didn’t feel the fear and trepidation that I do. But it isn’t true. These brave men and women experienced the same weakness and self -doubt any human does; they simply overcame it.

“I came to the conclusion
that there is an existential moment in your life
when you must decide to speak for yourself;
nobody else can speak for you.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Men, their rights, and nothing more; women, their rights, and nothing less.”
Susan B. Anthony

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
Mahatma Gandhi

Photo by LightheartedSigns.

Happiness

Wedded Bliss

Posted on November 16, 2014

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” Lao Tzu

I attended a wedding in Hawaii this week. It was as beautiful as you can imagine. Set on the beach with waves crashing behind and a clear, blue sky above, a ring of flowers represented the altar.

The couple, dressed in white, has been together 15 years, deciding now is the time to make it official. Having been married and divorced, I’ve often wondered why some folks insist on getting married. Why not just live together?

But seeing these two exchange rings and say their vows, promising to love and grow as one, pledging that they’ll never be alone, tears of joy making their eyes shiny, made me see why. They’ve been through a lot together: losing family support, opening and closing businesses, encountering uncalled for hatred and bias. Their wedding was a victory, a testament to their commitment.

It’s clear to me that there were more than 25 people on the beach that day. God and all that is good was there too, enveloping us with love and blessings.

Weddings always make me cry, and this one was no different. Yes, the newlyweds are two men, and yes, their commitment can finally be formally recognized, but the significance of this day is as beautiful as any wedding that has ever taken place. Love truly does conquer all.

Photo courtesy of Dennis Skley

Happiness, Life lessons

Learning Patience from a Wienie Dog

Posted on October 19, 2014

When my boyfriend moved in with us, he brought his little dog, Mickey. Mickey is about 8 lbs., 10″ tall, and doesn’t take no for an answer. A miniature dachshund with a big attitude, he’s tasked with teaching me how to slow down.

When I take Mickey for walks, he goes at his own pace and he rules the road. Any tugging on my part is rewarded with a staunch, dogged (no pun intended) resistance. He’ll put his head down as if to say, “I’m in charge here, lady. Don’t even think we’re moving yet.” As a doer with many tasks to complete, this drives me crazy. Does he not know all that’s on my list?

But after a minute or two of wondering why he must smell every single blade of grass, I look up and around. I see leaves blowing off of trees, hear birds chirping, and smell the coming of Fall. Sometimes patience is taught by the most unlikely of characters; in this case, he’s known all along what he’s here to do.